Along with the honor of sharing all things Vonderfull with you, sometimes it is our duty to share things that are not-so-vonderfull as well. Today, I would like to address a small device called the “T-Bar“. Yes, I did call it a device, as it is a mechanical ski lift, used by winter resorts to tote, or in my case, drag skiers and snowboarders up a relatively small run. If in fact you are an avid winter sport enthusiast, you probably remember them from your early years, when the “Bunny Hill” could still be filled with bunnies in your imagination, and the “t-bar” was a vonderfull journey to the top of this magical land. Well, at 23, this so-called vonderfull device, is less a source of sheer joy as it is a weapon of torture, used to separate any respectable adult from their pride, self-respect, and their eagerness to glide down small hills.
The reason for my seemingly profound hatred for this mechanical vonder, can be blamed on my experience just yesterday at Winter Park. Granted it was only my second time snowboarding ever, the T-bar did to me what I can only imagine it has done to many other self-respecting adults; it kicked by butt. I wish this was somehow a joke, and in fact, I gracefully glided up the not-so-steep slope like any other 7 year old, but no, I fell the entire way. I first knew I was in trouble, when my friend, a fellow adult snowboarding novice fell immediately after trying to grasp the mangy little bar. “Just hold it like a guitar” were the words of wisdom spoken to us by the annoyingly gleeful operated prior to our journey. Looking back now, I feel strongly that they should mention that this “guitar” will first make you feel at ease, and then like a bad date, turn on you in an instant and drag you face first up the hill until you have to let go, stranded by the side of the lift as small children laugh and point in your direction. This is what happened to me… After four dreaded attempts and a distance travelled of 50 feet, I was forced to walk the remainder of the so-called “hill” with my snowboard in hand. Why they don’t let you walk in the first place is beyond me… silly “T-bar”, this is why I have deemed you “Not-So-Vonderfull”.
